I think one of my biggest challenges so far here on my trip is learning to be completely alone.  More than that, it’s being alone and being OK with being alone.  Don’t get me wrong, I am quite independent and I am often doing things on my own a lot of the time.

Alone 2-1But the difference here I think is that I am now making decisions on what I want to do without outside influences.

Here’s an example.  Five O’ clock rolls around and I start to think about dinner.  What do I want for dinner?  Normally I would consider what my husband might want for dinner and make something that I know he will like.  And I would do this without thinking.

I’ve had to rethink and retrain myself to decide on things based on what I want, what I like, or what I feel like doing.  This is something totally foreign to me!  What DO I want?  What DO I like to do?  These questions that seem so common, have really stumped me at times!

I have a friend whom I admire.  This person is truly independent, knows what they like, knows what they want out of life, and is really in tune with their inner self.  This person is OK with being alone, and in fact, quite likes it.  This person makes decisions based on what what they want, without any outside influences.

This is something I want to aspire to.

How many of you can say that you honestly know who you are and what your likes and dislikes are?  Take out social conditioning,  beliefs bound by guilt, approval seeking or any other outside influences that conform your decisions.  Can you do it?

Not so simple now, is it?


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3 Responses to “Decisions…Decisions…Decisions…”

  • Now that you’ve been away, I’ve had the same epiphanies. Something as simple as figuring out what to eat for dinner or what to buy at the grocery store or what movie to watch is totally different when you are the *only* one involved in the decision 100%.

    It’s amazing to see how many decisions are influenced by outside factors, and how many habits we get into with out decisions.

    .-= Paul Piotrowski´s last blog ..Why I Reinstalled AdSense on My Blog in 2010 – Reason 5 =-.

  • Drea:

    And these decisions we are talking about right now are just simple everyday things. There is a level of awareness that goes way beyond “what’s for dinner…”

    What amazes me is that I already thought I was at a pretty good level of understanding of who I was…but again, the universe keeps me on my toes!

    Always learning!

  • Dawne:

    Reading this post made me very aware of my outside influences, and how much I still have to learn about myself. The last little while I’ve been focusing on getting to know myself again, and finding out what I ‘truly’ love. It’s been a real eye opener. 😀

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